


My First and My Last

by PatsyMountsDelia



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, First Crush, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Lesbian Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatsyMountsDelia/pseuds/PatsyMountsDelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patsy/Delia firsts series<br/>See all the major milestones in Patsy and Delia's relationship, from the first time they meet all the way to their death. This series will allow you a glimpse into a relationship that was so taboo, yet so beautiful.<br/>The general rating is T but this story will have one or two M rated chapters as we go on.<br/>Updated every Sunday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First meeting

**Author's Note:**

> It’s finally here, the first chapter of my ‘firsts’ series. Of course we start when they first meet and so this is my take on how they met and what happened then. I hope you enjoy. Please don’t hesitate to give me some feedback and if you want a certain ‘first’ to be written, tell me!
> 
> The title is from my head canon that Delia is Patsy’s first girlfriend but that Delia had a girlfriend before Patsy – way less serious – but that is the explanation of why Delia is a little braver when it comes to touching and wanting to be out. So ‘the first’ is about Delia being Patsy’s girlfriend and ‘the last’ is about Patsy being Delia’s last girlfriend.
> 
> I also want to thank @ namesrfunny and @corsetscrinolinesandcupsoftea for proofreading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy and Delia meet for the very first time.

Patsy sighed as she sat down on her bed at the nurse’s home. It had been a long, tiring day at male surgical. A lot of catheters and surprisingly, many men had been vomiting today which was not something Patsy enjoyed cleaning up. She could handle urine and even faeces but vomit was always a challenge. No one had tried to grab her butt though and no one had started touching himself when she was watching so she considered that to be a success.

She pulled the pins from her blonde hair and she let it fall to her shoulders. Today, she’d get a new neighbour across the hall. There were new trainees moving in and some nurses in their last year were going to have to move into the same hallway as her room, so that the new trainees could stay together on the first floor. They had decided that three of the last year trainees would be moving into the empty rooms in her hallway.

She heard commotion in the hallway and she figured the girls had arrived. She also heard other nurses coming out of their rooms to greet the new ones. Patsy decided not to. She’d get to know them soon enough, when they were working.

Everyone knew that Patience Mount wasn’t one to socialize. She never went anywhere with the other nurses, she never talked longer than necessary and she generally liked being alone. She was polite and treated her patients well but if you were looking for a girlfriend to talk to when you had problems with your boyfriend, Patsy was not the girl you went to. There was a lot of gossip going around about her and Patsy knew that… but she really couldn’t care less.

She didn’t need the nurses to be her friends; especially because she didn’t need friends that gossiped so much. She had some acquaintances in the cleaning staff – Mary and Sandra – and she had a good friend, Agnes, who lived on the other side of London. They met up once every month to go to the movies and catch up. They were all she needed.

They were nice, liked small talk and talking about themselves, which most people would find annoying but Patsy didn’t. They didn’t ask her much about her personal life, contrary to most of the nurses who apparently found joy in telling each other very personal things. Patsy enjoyed listening and giving advice, she did not enjoy being asked about lads and when she’d planned getting married. She wasn’t getting married – ever.

Patsy decided to go and take a warm bath. She grabbed her two towels, her soap and shampoo as well as her slippers and her bathrobe. She quickly grabbed her hairbrush and razor, deciding that she had enough time to do the big works today.

She was glad to see that she was alone. She didn’t like sharing this space with other girls because there were no screens between the baths and you could see everything that everyone did. Ever since she found out that she was interested in women for more than friendship, she felt awkward seeing women naked. It wasn’t as if she looked at them lustfully – she wouldn’t dare – but she was scared that the women would notice that she was queer just by being around her when they were bathing.

She had washed her body and her hair and she was just about to shave her legs when a new nurse entered. “Oh, hello.” She said and Patsy looked up and nodded. “Hello.” She told her and then she looked down again. She bit her lip as she started shaving her legs. She heard the water running in the bath next to her. Why were there no screens? She wondered for the hundredth time since she moved into the Nurses Home.

“I’m Delia Busby; I’m a last year trainee.” The Welshwoman said excitedly and Patsy looked up to answer her, to say she was welcome when she saw that this woman was surprisingly fast at undressing and was already in her knickers. Patsy forced herself to look up and into her eyes – gorgeous, dreamy blue eyes! “I’m Nurse Mount.” She said her voice a bit wavering – which it normally never did.

She knew that she would have to keep a distance from this pretty nurse. Patsy had a type and this girl fit it perfectly. She fancied brunettes with blue eyes that were preferably shorter than her. Guess how this woman looked? Exactly like that, yes but maybe she had a rubbish personality, and then staying away from her would be much easier.

She heard the woman get into the water and she could breathe a little easier. If she looked to the side, she wouldn’t see legs or breasts or a butt. Good, she thought.

“I’ve already been warned about you.” Delia said and Patsy looked up from shaving.

“You’ve been warned about me? What were you told?” Patsy asked, a bit angered by the fact that the other nurses were gossiping about her and that to a girl who didn’t even know her.

Delia was washing her hair and looked over at Patsy, who looked a bit upset. “That you are quite… cold. That I shouldn’t try to be your friend because you’re not very talkative.” She told the blonde. “But I wouldn’t want to be friends with women like them either, such gossips.” She told Patsy, who couldn’t help but smile at that. This wasn’t just another catty nurse, she thought, this one she might actually start to like but that was dangerous as well, she knew. She remembered Amber Pritchett all too well and she didn’t want to repeat that. Thinking back at her roommate at boarding school, she panicked a bit. She needed to get out of here, she needed distance from Delia. She couldn’t become too close to another woman. She got those shameful feelings that always messed with her head and then she couldn’t control them.

Patsy finished shaving quickly and stood up with her back towards the other nurse. She stepped out of the bath and wrapped herself up in one of her towels. The other she used to wrap her hair in. What she hadn’t noticed was that while she was doing that, Delia was shamelessly looking at her back.

Patsy quickly pulled on her bathrobe and grabbed her soap bottles, razor and hairbrush. She’d brush her hair in her room. She turned back to Delia, who was looking away by now and smiled as she walked past her.

Delia sat up a bit. “Wait, what room are you in?” Delia asked before Patsy could exit. Patsy turned to her and said: “Room 17.” That made the Welshwoman beam. “I’m in room 18, I’m across the hall.” She said and Patsy swallowed. She wouldn’t be able to avoid her at all. “Well, see you in the hallway then.” Patsy said, trying to come off casual and with one more, quick nod, she exited the bathroom and went to her bedroom.

She sat down on her bed and sighed. Delia must think she’s such an oddball but that was better than building an actual friendship with a girl she found so attractive. She’d done that with Amber, thinking she could handle it and that she had it all under control. She’d been so lucky that Amber had just wanted their friendship to end when Patsy had tried to kiss her and that she hadn’t gone to report it to a teacher. That would have been devastating, who knew what would have happened…

Patsy could never take that risk again. She had decided that when she’d seen the disgust in Amber’s eyes after the fact. Delia would look at her the same way if she found out that Patsy was _that way_ and this time it could cause her to lose her career and she loved her work, she couldn’t lose that and be publicly shunned as well. She just couldn’t handle that.

She just had to avoid Delia; that would be the smartest thing to do.


	2. First Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy and Delia embrace for the first time ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here, the second chapter. I’m so sorry it took so long but if you follow me on Tumblr, you’ll probably know I’m kind of dealing with an issue right now but well, I managed to get this out. It’s not very long but I feel like it captures all it needs to.
> 
> Big thanks to my amazing proof reading bestie @queerukuleleplayer. Thank you for your support and thank you for being an awesome friend.

Patsy sat on a bench in the small park that was close to The London. It was the anniversary of her mother’s death and unlike other years, she just couldn’t manage to get on with work and life and forget about that dreadful day, so many years ago. No, today her mind had decided that it wanted to wallow in the loss and her failure to save her mother.

She knew that it wasn’t her fault. She knew, rationally that she was a child who didn’t have the means nor the knowledge to cure her mother but that didn’t mean that she didn’t feel guilty. Her mother had died, her sister had died and she had survived. Why did she survive? Why wasn’t she the one who had passed away. She had barely gotten sick in the camp. She’d been hungry and frail, yes but aside from a few runny noses and a few coughs she’d never had anything and her mother and her sister both had died from diseases that could have been easily cured.

Patsy felt herself being transported back to being a young child. She felt the beatings she had received over the years, she felt the unique mix of frustration and fear that had ruled her back in the camp, she felt the powerlessness again and she had to shake her head to make images and feelings fade away. She couldn’t go back there mentally, she might not recover if she got stuck there like her father had. He was still tortured by the camp every day and Patsy didn’t want to be like him and let those monsters dictate her life.

She could mostly ignore what had happened and she was proud of that fact. The scars had faded and no one but herself could see them, as you had to come quite close to notice them. She didn’t have a sweetheart, nor would she probably ever have one so no one would find out. She could also easily forget what had happened to her when she was working or when she was lost in a book but it were days like this when she simply felt like she couldn’t think of anything else.

She was lost in thoughts when a voice cut through the silence. “If that isn’t my favourite blonde.” She heard the familiar voice of her friend. Delia. She sounded so excited to see her and seemed to be in such a good mood. Patsy hated that she’d probably ruin that but she couldn’t hide the look on her face, it was simply impossible.

Delia saw her expression and she immediately stopped smiling brightly. “Pats, what’s wrong?” She asked, frowning in concern and confusion as she had no idea what could have caused this upset.

Pats, Delia had said. It brought her comfort, that nickname.

Delia had started calling her that a month ago. She had quite unceremoniously burst into her life, right through her carefully built walls and was now comfortably nestled into Patsy’s life. It had only taken her about three months to do so.

Patsy had tried to keep her distance as she’d promised herself but Delia had this way of making her laugh that she just couldn’t resist her. She was intelligent and oh, so charming and she was so… completely herself. She didn’t hide much, Patsy thought and she was so good with people, with the patients. She always knew just what to say to get something done and she always knew what to say or do to make someone feel better.

Patsy knew that she was in love with Delia. She couldn’t deny it to herself any longer but she also knew that this was an attraction, a love that could never be spoken of. Delia was her friend and she’d rather have a good friend than tell Delia about her feelings and lose her completely. She wouldn’t be able to stand it.

Patsy sighed and bit her lip. She still hadn’t answered the question and Delia looked increasingly more worried. This wasn’t easy to talk about at all. She realised she had to say something, though and lying to Delia just wouldn’t do. “I-It’s the anniversary of my mother’s death today.” She admitted and just speaking the words made her start to cry. Speaking them made it even more real.

Delia’s eyes went wide and she quickly took a seat next to her friend. “Oh, Patsy, I had no idea.” She told her and Patsy let out a tiny chuckle.

“How could you know? I never said a word about it.”  She told Delia as she tried to wipe away her tears. She didn’t like people seeing her cry, not even Delia.

Delia reached out to touch Patsy’s knee and Patsy was too distraught to move away from such a touch that evoked such feelings in her. Not sexual at all, she was way too upset for such things, but feelings for comfort that just weren’t strictly friendly.

“Do you… Do you want to talk about it?” Delia asked, wanting to find something that would help, that would ease the pain Patsy felt.

Patsy shook her head. “No, I’d rather not.” She told Delia. She didn’t want to have to reveal where she’d spent part of her childhood, she didn’t want to describe the helplessness she had felt as a young child, not able to help her mother and sister, she didn’t want to describe crying as she held her dying family members, she didn’t want to talk about any of that. She just wanted to forget and for it to stop hurting so much.

Delia on the other hand felt powerless in easing her friend’s emotional distress. She watched as Patsy couldn’t fight the tears and kept on crying. The sobs that came from the strong woman’s lips absolutely broke Delia’s heart. She just had to reach out and hug Patsy close. She knew that she might be pushed away but she had to take that risk.

Patsy stiffened for a second before she let herself be comforted and she latched onto Delia as if she was the last thing keeping her from death itself. She sobbed into Delia’s shoulder and for once, she was held as she grieved.  She knew that she was falling deeper for Delia in this moment, as this beautiful, sensitive and sweet woman held her. She also didn’t care because she needed this. She needed a comforting touch, she needed to feel loved and cared for. She ignored the lingering thought of how wrong it was, how disgusted Delia would be if she knew the depth of her feelings. She couldn’t deal with those self-loathing thoughts right now.

What she didn’t know was that in that moment, Delia was falling just as hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER: FIRST LOVE CONFESSION

**Author's Note:**

> NEXT CHAPTER: FIRST HUG


End file.
